Where to begin…

Posted by on June 6, 2006

Today was the day of Stupid at the office. Had new security installed on several doors, staff saw fit to try and sidestep it, executives LAUGHED AT IT. That’s fine folks…wait till someone angry with us comes in with a weapon and just waltzs through those bypassed locks. Had a contractor take some production environments offline in the middle of the day, no explanation, no pre-warning, no response when we asked why…then I find out that we are actually considering reupping the contract. Submitted a helpdesk ticket to our enterprise domain folks…got a response an hour later asking who they should send it to. YOU ARE THE FRIGGIN HELP DESK! **sigh**

So, I’m frustrated already when I read about IED. Not “Improvised Explosive Devices”…no no…those I know about and have lost friends to them. Hate them. That’s not what IED means to some boneheaded shrink apparently. It seems that I can now lose control of my temper, bash in a few skulls, shoot up the neighborhood, and then blame it on the latest mental defect, Intermittent Explosive Disorder. My grade school teachers absolutely MUST be either spinning in their graves or thinking, “Geesh…that kid who grew up to be Pilgrim has an excuse now!”. What kind of tripe is this? Do people honestly believe that we are no better than the animals we eat? No different than the pack of dogs that stop to take time to hump anything that moves? People we have FREE WILL and a CONSCIENCE! We control our emotions or at least we should. To label a tantrum as a mental defect is absolutely nuts. Does my 3 year old niece have IED? She has sudden angry outbursts all the time, usually just after her mother telling her “No!”. I’ve witnessed some biofeedback, which the DSM IV claims to be effective, applied to my niece in the guise of an open hand to her bottom. That usually ends the period of “episodic dyscontrol”.

Since Biofeedback is effective, I recommend we all prepare for the, soon to be, inevitable encounter with a poor IED afflicted soul. We prepare by becoming well versed in biofeedback through the use of blunt instruments of self defense. I like walking canes myself but baseball bats are good as well. Tonya Harding has suggested lead pipes. My buddy over at Singlemind.net is always prepared with his precious H&K .45acp. Now THAT is a definately cure for IED.

Good heavens, what’s next…

Last modified on June 6, 2006

Categories: General
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5 Responses to “Where to begin…”

  1. blackflag Says:

    “biofeedback” indeed. I was going to suggest a leather belt but the open hand works as well. I like the GCIH gif too (I shamelessy swiped it to put on my site later)… Ed Skoudis teach your class? I’m going to work on the GCIA after the 1st of the year probably (so my re-certs are two years apart).

    Nice site too btw.

    thanks,
    bf

  2. pilgrim Says:

    Yep…Skoudis did indeed teach my class. I took with a local mentor so I didn’t get the joy of Ed “after hours”. Had planned to go to Defcon last year but my plans got changed…mostly because of fuel costs.

    heheh…feel free to use that image proudly. 😉

  3. Elle Says:

    Man, why do you have to be so down on the contractors. 🙁 Chin up; if it all goes tits up I’ll lend you my customer appreciation bat for work.

  4. SingleMind Says:

    IED….that is hilarious.

    A lead pipe is nice for around the office. I also like my 6-cell Maglite.

    Of course, the H&K (or Glock 21, or Springfield XD45ACP) is the way to go. That is, assuming you don’t have the wherewithal to conceal a fully-automatic Uzi chambered for .45ACP (complete with silencer).

  5. blackflag Says:

    Hmm ‘elo Singlemind, I’m thinking of adding a gratuitus gun pr0n section to my site as well. I am a collector after all ;D.

    Pilgrim, I didnt meet Skoudis either, I did “Sans@Home”. He seemed like a nice guy on the phone though and we listened to hours of his lectures.

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